True Detective - Sky Atlantic, 9pm
A year on from the career saving first season for Matthew McConaughey, can it do the same for Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughan? This is an anthology so the story is entirely different from the first season with the location moved from Louisiana to California; McConaughey, Woody Harrelson and Michelle Monaghan have been swapped for Colin Farrell as tortured cop, Ray Velcoro, whose personal life is a mess (there will be whiskey drinking), Rachel McAdams as Detective Ani Bezzerides (unresolved daddy issues), Taylor Kitsch as Officer Paul Woodrugh (physical and emotional scarring from war) and Vince Vaughn as Frank Seymon (sharp suits, cuff link wearing baddy), a criminal trying to make it as a straight player in the business world.
If you're a fan, you won't be shocked to know that every character in this story is messed up. Last season, the show was berated for its portrayal of women - they may as well as have employed Japanese sex dolls because they were mostly there to be receptacles for the male characters literal and emotional jizz - can they do better this year? Well, every time we're introduced to a female character, they're in their underwear so either I don't know how to woman properly because I also wear clothes or the creators haven't a clue about women. I'm going with the latter. They have given Farrell a red headed son - go Irish - and have Vaughn discussing his fertility problems. I know I'm going to stick with this season. The problem with this first episode is that it only gets going 2 minutes from the end, but those two minutes will have you tuning in next week.
Colin Farrell with a 'tache; I would. Heaven help me, I still would.
Gadget Man - Channel 4, 8.30pm
If Richard Ayoade is on the telly, I'm watching it. Tonight is the last in the series and he meets up with Bill Bailey to test a post-apocalyptic survival kit which, if I've learned anything from TV, will not include mosquito repellant or razors yet all the girls in The Walking Dead are fuzz and bump free. Baffling. He also meets up with Keith Allen to look at a bullet proof bag - Carrie from Sex and the City would have been all over that - a wallet tracker and a vest to make one look like you have the muscles of an All Black after they've spent 80 minutes tipping English players over like they're cows. (Yes, I know they can do that to the Irish as well)
My Tattoo Addiction - Channel 4, 10.35pm
I watched the episode featuring Carl McCoid, above, who found solace in Miley Cyrus after his wife divorced him. Seriously. It was bloody engrossing. I felt bad that I felt bad for him because, it's his buzz. I choose to eat cheese when I'm a bit sad, he permanently disfigures himself with Hannah Montana. Whatever works for you. Tonight features Joanne whose tattoo of her ex-wife's name reminds her as her life as a man and that's not ideal.
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