Eurovision Song Contest Semi-Final - RTE 2, 8pm.
Listen, the contest is a bit of a farce; this year sees an entry from Australia which isn't exactly in Europe but in a country that is obsessed with exact definitions at the moment, who cares. The Eurovision is acutely aware of what it has become over the years, a spectacle and they do it better than anyone. There are still political overtones with last years Russian entry getting booed mainly due to its stance against the LGBT community and, you know, taking the Crimea off the Ukraine. Indeed, the Ukraine has decided not to take part in this years contest because of its conflict with Russia. Still, expect to see ridiculous, overtly sexualised outfits parading as traditional dress, someone pretending to churn butter, and latex. You'll have to wait until Thursday to see Ireland's entry but look forward to performances from Estonia, Finland and Poland. That is a sentence that may never, ever have been written anywhere before.
Chelsea Flower Show - BBC2, 8pm
Gardening, it's not the sexiest of things but The Chelsea Flower Show is aspirational; for those of us who some day wish to have a garden or those who wish theirs will be more than a literal metaphor for T.S Eliot's 'The Wasteland.' One competitor this year is 'Dark Matter Garden.' It is inspired by a diagram from the European Space Agency of how dark matter -which we cannot see but is believed to make up most of the universe - can be detected by the way that light bends around the dark matter itself. THAT IS BLOODY AMAZING. Tonight, the winner of Best In Show will be chatting to presenters Monty Don and Joe Swift.
Welcome To The Punch - Film 4, 9pm
I can see how my first two picks might not be for everyone so I thought that this might be the great leveler. This British film tries a bit too hard to be like its American crime-thriller counter parts but it is still very watchable. When a notorious criminal is forced to return to London from his Icelandic hideaway detective Max Lewinsky played by James McAvoy, realises that this is his last change to Take. Him. Daaaaaaaaan. It's usual fare but with an impressive supporting cast including Peter Mullan, Andrea Riseborough and David Morrissey, all I need add is that Mark Strong, one of the most talented actors of this generation, is in it for you to at least set the recorder.
Set the recorder for: Outlander - RTE 2, 11.55pm
The penultimate episode of the first series is upon us and, my lord, has this show taken a seriously dark turn. Jamie learns that there is a fate worse than death when he receives a visit from Black Jack in Wentworth prison. There is a scene where Jamie has stigmata thrust upon him. It's not pretty.
If not into TV, just turn on me. Pure proper English there.
Dublin's Best Music Mix with Muireann O'Connell
Monday to Thursday 7-9pm
TWITTER: @MuireannOConnel
